“Whatever Works!” 

That is the take many younger pastors have on Paul’s “I have become all things to all men…” mission strategy.   Now, we take it to the next level.

It is always a challenge to get men to attend church.  They just don’t want to come.  They see it as a complete waste of their precious time.  Yet, somehow we must reach them. I absolutely believe THAT!  But how to do it?  Perhaps a little creativity is in order.  So, if you don’t mind thinking waaaaay outside the box, or care about church history or any parameters the Scriptures might lay out, try these pragmatic suggestions.  Several studies suggest that this new approach will pack the house.

#1  Hold Your Service on Friday or Saturday Night.  We have stuff to do in the morning, like sleep!  But we also have  golfing, yard work, 4 wheeling, skiing, fishing, and any number of important things we want to do.  If you want to reach men, you have to accommodate their schedule!  Our days are packed, but our nights are generally free.

#2  Have an Open Bar with Free Hot Wings!  Free beer and shots will be appreciated and will definitely get people to come.  No other church in your town does this.  This will also help loosen everyone up for the evenings “worship arts”.  If you are in Colorado or Washington, you may also consider offering free pot brownies.  Why not? It is legal now, and someone in the church  can hook you up with the best sources.  Free Hot Wings in multiple flavors is a nice touch and will be appreciated by the guys.

#3  Make Sure the Worship Team includes Attractive Scantily Clad Women.  Emphasis on attractive and scantily.  A recent study by the Barny Group concludes that some men like this a lot, and will come just for the show!  It is OK if they can’t sing, just turn their microphones off.  It isn’t the voice that the men will be interested in, so it doesn’t matter.

#4 Don’t Preach or share anything from the Bible!  Nobody will care what you have to say anyway.  However they might be offended by any reference to Jesus Christ.  You need to avoid offending them if you want to keep the “house” packed each week.  This is important.  You may also want to cover the cross in the sanctuary, if by some unbelievable coincidence it hasn’t already been removed and put in storage.  It is also advisable to remove any scripture references from the sanctuary as well as anything that could be construed as religious:  pulpits, alters, communion tables, literature displays, or BIBLES.  Stained glass should be covered.

#5  Have Scantily Clad Cocktail Waitresses and Greeters.  Research shows that men are much more likely to congregate where there is free alcohol and barely dressed women.  With both of these angles covered, you should pack the house.

#6  Prepare The Faithful for the New Service Launch: It is likely that the current church members may not understand or even agree with your vision for this new service.  You’re the pastor, so it is your job to convince them that this is God’s will for the church.  If the Sunday morning faithful objects to this, preach a sermon series on the need to contextualize the gospel.  Preach it over and over again until they either give up and leave or accept this as God’s vision for the church they built before you were even born.  Be nice about it.  You don’t want too many of them to leave, because you need their money to pay for the new outreach service

#7 Have the Worship Arts Team Play Country and Classic Rock Top 40: It is OK to mix in other genres, but these genres are safe and most of the guys will like it. You will need to look over the play list each week to make sure there are no references to God, Jesus or the Man upstairs in the country stuff.   Talk to your worship leader about this.  He’s probably already doing this to a lesser extent for the Sunday morning alcohol free service, so it shouldn’t be too hard to manage.  Still, it may require supervision.  Most importantly, make sure the guitar players are really good and the sound is huge!  Get those subwoofers pumping, nobody in this crowd is going to tell you it’s too loud.

#8 Finally, Offer a Free Shuttle Service To and From the Service. By the end of the service, many of the guys will have had too much to drink and may not be able to drive.  The last thing you want is for one of them to get in an accident and hurt or kill themselves or others.  That is REALLY bad PR.  To reduce this as much as possible, offer a free shuttle service to and from the “service”.  It would be best to keep with the nights theme and only allow attractive scantily clad women to be the drivers.  But this may not be possible in all circumstances and flexibility on your part is crucial.

If you don’t mind stretching things a bit and holding the Scriptures even looser than you may already, this approach can be very effective in getting men to come to church.  Discipleship will be caught, rather than taught.  The men will learn that church can be VERY exciting, and that Christians aren’t so bad after all.  It will put an end to the often correct charge that “they just want my money” because you won’t take any offerings.   Instead, you are giving back to the community, providing a safe place for men to congregate and be men.

Paul became all things to all people.  Shouldn’t you too?

Want the Congregation To Worship More? Try Singing…….Less!