Top 10 Reasons You Should Visit Our Church This Sunday
Top 10 Reasons You Should Visit Our Church This Sunday
#10 We have the best worship team in town filled with young, uber-talented musicians and singers.
#9 Our worship team recently recorded a cutting edge worship CD (You can buy it for $13).
#8 We have state of the art sound and lighting systems that allow you to hear and feel the worship, as well as experience worship in a way you can’t at other local churches.
#7 Worshipping in song is the best and highest form of corporate worship. We do it with excellence and we do it a lot! If you like music, you are going to love our worship!
#6 Come as you are. You can wear whatever you feel comfortable in. People wear everything from business casual to jeans and T-shirts
#5 We have GREAT coffee drinks (for sale) and you can bring the drinks with you into the auditorium.
#4 We have free wi-fi available throughout our facility and it is available at all times
#3 Our services are short! Each of our 3 services is only 70 minutes long
#2 Our pastor is an incredibly gifted speaker who is VERY funny. Each week you will hear a short inspirational talk based on our pastors life experience or the experience of others that is always relevant to your life. There is usually a Bible verse or two sprinkled throughout the talk to help inspire you to live your life to the fullest.
#1 Our services are FUN! We have eliminated the old school, boring liturgical stuff from our worship which many of the other churches in town still utilize. We won’t ask you to stand or sit or kneel. There are no corporate readings or corporate prayers or communion. Just cutting edge worship and inspirational words.
What’s missing?
I have compiled these “reasons” from church websites and church advertising in my area. Before you write to correct me, realize that this post is a joke. The sad part about it is that they are real reasons that actual churches have given. Well, I have added my special touch to the reasons. Nevertheless, the gist of them is spot on.
Some will object to the competitive nature of the post. The “Our Church is Better Than the Rest” idea is abhorrent, I agree. However, that idea is rampant in our church advertising. It is sometimes subtle, sometimes over the top, but often present for anyone to see. At least I see it.
Some will see nothing wrong in the Top 10 Reasons I have listed. Others, will be able to spot what is missing easily. Still others, will have to look harder until they see what is missing. Feel free to throw daggers, share thoughts or comment as you see fit!
Thanks for visiting us here at http://www.NotForItchingEars.com
Posted on May 6, 2014, in Christianity, Contemporary Church Culture, The Seeker-Sensitive Church Model and tagged 24 Live Another Day, American Christianity, catholic, christianity, contemporary worship, Eastern Orthodox, entertainment, family, God, Gospel, humor, inspiration, Not For itching Ears, Passion of the Christ, Protestant, relationships, spirituality, worship. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.
Not For Itching Ears 
At the church I use to attend (I no longer attend since a new senior pastor came in and focused on just about all those reasons listed above, even bringing in a, yes talented singer and musician, “Worship Arts Director/Pastor”.
The new Pastors seem to be blind to the message(s) they give off/out. Why? Well there was a large exodus of people, especially those that attended the earlier non contemporary service as they just about completely changed everything. So with attendance down what did they do? They created pamphlets to hand out and drop off to the surrounding neighborhood(s) and area. The pamphlet listed a few bullet points. One of them was “New Pastors”. Really?! You realize businesses usually make that bullet point when management/ownership (leadership) changes and the prior leadership wasn’t very good. Way to put down the previous pastors (BTW, the previous senior pastor had accepted a call several states away and his associate pastor was doing interim, and everyone loved them and were sad to see them leave.)
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I notice that kind of stuff all the time! There is a newer church in my town that had a huge banner advertising their service. One of the reasons was “Our Services Are Not Boring!” Why did the advertising team fail to realize that they were implying that other church services WERE boring? Of course, some services are boring, but why use that fact to promote one church over another? They didn’t mean to imply that, at least I hope not! You would think someone would be able to figure that out.
That same church had a series on “How To Have A Great Sex Life” It was a 4 week series targeted at non-Christians. Think of all the non-Christians you know. Which one of them would consult a pastor on how to improve their sex life? Zero! How many Christians would? Zero!
Sometimes I wonder, actually I wonder often, what the heck they are being taught in seminary these days!
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“Sometimes I wonder, actually I wonder often, what the heck they are being taught in seminary these days!”
My guess is, how to attract people to increase attendance and tithing/offerings.
The world is being brought into the church rather than the church going out into the world. The direction/flow determines what is doing the influencing and what is being influenced.
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